Today I was sitting at a window in my house, looking out through the rain at a couple of deer eating in the field next door. I was completely at ease while doing this, no inner turmoil, no what if ideas going through my head, and I wondered why I love watching animals so much. I thought about this as I watched and came to understand the reason.
I don’t feel right in my skin. This started some time ago, around the time that I got out of shape and stopped being active every day. Mind you, I don’t believe this to be a physical thing as much as a mental thing, but I don’t feel in touch with my body anymore. It feels almost like wearing a suit that I clumsily control from inside. There in is what I love about watching animals, deer in particular.
If you sit and watch an animal doing just about anything, you can see the grace and ease they move with. I never feel that their bodies are awkward to them, that they aren’t fully connected to every fiber of themselves. To me, watching a deer walking around and eating is like watching a ballet. The movement is pure, and graceful. Each movement has a purpose and precision to it.
I want to be that way. There was a time that I was. I think it’s time to get back there.
2 comments:
Wow, it's like you stole the words from my head! Fantastic! We need to grab a beer or something soon, I miss you and those deep thoughts! I have one too, although still scattered: http://kinda-sorta-maybe.blogspot.com/ interested in your opinion.
I'll check back in with you in six months, see if you're still Ewok status or whether you're back to Wookie.
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