Dreams

Around a year ago, give or take, when my life slide was starting, I took a trip to Yosemite to take pictures. I went solo, spending my time walking around the valley and the surrounding areas. The whole day, I remember thinking, “I want to see a bear, I want to see a bear.” I did eventually see one, but it was from a very long distance off, maybe a mile or so. Only with my 300mm lens could I tell what it was. Since that day, I have been dreaming, “I photograph a bear. I want to photograph a bear.” A year later, and I got my dream, meet Benson (named by my friend Vijay Vanniarajan). I finally got out to Yosemite, with my good friend in tow for a bit of nature photography. After a morning experience with a bear that was not ideal, think 30 people, one bear, and park rangers, the evening came, and with it came dear Benson. With some persistence and care, I, and my friend, was able to spend a good forty minutes within 25 feet of this beautiful bear. A dream come true. All this got me thinking though. Dreams take a crap load of work to realize. Sometimes the work isn’t hard at all, like studying a bear’s behavior so that you can get close enough for that picture. Other times, it’s so painful you want to scream. For instance, going to a job you hate everyday so that you have the money to make the trip to make your dream a reality. I bring this up because this got me thinking. My number one dream at this moment is to make it as a professional photographer. So I started thinking about the work involved to make it happen. While some of it will is not my favorite work, setting up a website, figuring out the business aspect of it. The majority will be something I love, going out to take photos to share with the world. So here is the first announcement. Dashiel Paré-Mayer Photography is born. Expect a site soon, with the ability to buy prints of anything seen on this blog as well as any photo in the soon to be posted gallery. I will also be figuring out other services I will be offering. I’m finally going full force towards my dream, hope you all enjoy the ride as much as I do.

One to One. True Connection

Think about the last time that you felt that perfect connection. That time when you felt that you and someone else were sharing one mind. My guess, it wasn't a group you were in, but with an individual. As we go through lives, we spend time in groups, we spend time alone, and we spend time with just one other person. I wonder though if this is balanced. Do we spend more time alone or in groups than with just one other person. I tend to think that to truly connect with another person, you need to be alone with that person. In a situation where the rest of the world can be blocked off, and shrunken down to just the shared experience of two individuals. I believe that this holds true with our experience of animals as well. The most connected I have ever felt to an animal was a shared hour spent with a young male deer. I hope that all people can gain that experience one day, I believe the world would be a better place.

The need for quiet

We all need quiet. Mind you, I am not talking about noise level quiet, although that is of course needed as well. I am lucky enough to live in a place where quiet is easy to come by. The quiet I am talking about is or own ability to turn off our minds. Today I was out in the slough by 7am. On the water by 7:10. I had my camera out and was living in the moment. Was trying out new methods of shooting using the currents to carry me past my subject with no noise. It was great, relaxing and wonderful. On my way back random thoughts of normal life started to get back in, work, money, things to do, things I am worried about doing. I started to tense up and get a little jittery. I realize with all the peace around me, the serenity of the location, I was not enjoying myself. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I forced the thoughts out and focused on my surroundings, instant cure. Now I know, from now on, I will make sure that these times spent outside are spent not only in the quiet of nature, but also will work on quieting my mind.

Notable Sightings: Bunch of seals checking me out from a few feet away.

First Times, Begining

This weekend marked the start of the Elkhorn Project for me. Officially that is. Saturday I took the new kayak out for a paddle to get a feel for it before bringing my camera on board. Started at Kirby Park and paddle to Moss Landing where I picked up a couple of items. Now, this is the first time I have been able to get on the water before 9:15 or so having been renting solely for the past two months. Wow. It is always nice at the slough, even in winds, but the early morning (8ish or so) makes a huge difference. The water was like glass with not wind and no others on the water. When you do this kind of paddle you start to understand, of all things, how out of touch we are with the rhythms of our world. We spend so much time now in cars, in front of computers, inside, that most of us I believe have lost touch with how the natural world works. I include myself in this group, as much as I love being outside. So here lies another challenge of the Elkhorn Project, to fall into Nature’s rhythm. I know this may not make sense at the moment, but I hope to explain it more as the blog progresses.

On Sunday, I paddled out once more, from Moss Landing this time, with my camera on board. I have always found that looking through the lens can help you experience the world around you in a much more intense way. It forces you to focus on the shape and movement and behavior of a subject in order to create a decent photo. I believe this project is going to be good for me, in all aspects of my life.

Notable Sightings: Sea lions hunting near the dairy, leaping from the water. A mass migration of pelicans from one side of the slough to the other. And of course, oodles of otters.

The Elkhorn Project

Starting next week. I will embark on the biggest project to date in my life. Ten minutes from my house is the Elkhorn Slough, one of the premiere kayaking locations on the west coast for seeing marine wildlife. I took up kayaking lately, in an effort to find a connection to some physical activity again. I had a feeling I would like it, but didn't realize to the extent. To me kayaking offered all of what I look for in an activity. Excitement when you want, peace when you want, and an ability to see wildlife in there natural setting without disturbing them. So what is this project all about. Really it is simple, it is combining my two passions as well as documenting an area that is unique and beautiful. I hope that you will return often to see the photos and read about the experiences, as this will be the home of the project for some time.

In my skin

Today I was sitting at a window in my house, looking out through the rain at a couple of deer eating in the field next door. I was completely at ease while doing this, no inner turmoil, no what if ideas going through my head, and I wondered why I love watching animals so much. I thought about this as I watched and came to understand the reason.

I don’t feel right in my skin. This started some time ago, around the time that I got out of shape and stopped being active every day. Mind you, I don’t believe this to be a physical thing as much as a mental thing, but I don’t feel in touch with my body anymore. It feels almost like wearing a suit that I clumsily control from inside. There in is what I love about watching animals, deer in particular.

If you sit and watch an animal doing just about anything, you can see the grace and ease they move with. I never feel that their bodies are awkward to them, that they aren’t fully connected to every fiber of themselves. To me, watching a deer walking around and eating is like watching a ballet. The movement is pure, and graceful. Each movement has a purpose and precision to it.

I want to be that way. There was a time that I was. I think it’s time to get back there.

A new chapter starts.

For those of you who know me, you know what my last year was like. For those that don't, I'll just say it was not a good year. This year, with the birth of my second child, it was time to stop the tailspin. I started analyzing my life, with the help of my wife, friends, and a paid professional, I have started to piece together the problems I have been having and what their root causes are. Today, while out kayaking with a friend, I came to another realization. I feel, at this point in my life, more disconnected from nature than ever before.

I have always been an outdoorsy person, always spent the majority of my time outside. With the onset of fatherhood, and a full time career, I found myself outside less and less. As I trace back, I realize this is where the problems started, the time that I started to feel less and less stable. Over the course of the past four years, culminating in the hell of last year, I lost myself. This is my new start, a time to rediscover my connection with nature, and hopefully through that, myself.